One of the greatest achievements of machismo is the taboo on how poorly men age. Men are exposed to the passage of time in a ridiculous way, suspended between vulnerability and arrogance. For decades it has been written about how women have been tyrannized by the demand for eternal youth, while our own shame has tried to hide behind a Triumph or a girlfriend 20 years younger. The trompe l’oeil, of course, is already unsustainable.
The man who refuses to grow old usually courts an artificial rebellion. It happened to all of us. You believe in that rock, or a certain aesthetic independent – say the president – it retains some avant-garde aura, it is the warning that we are already late. There’s a point where it sucks or those seemingly random turns are nothing more than little warning lights announcing that something is about to end. They are signs of an expired time that confirm that our adolescent courage belongs to an already prescribed worldview.
Complicity between gangs, a crooked smile, shaking hands in the office as if you were still in the streets or changing the leather sole for that of your sneakers even if you’re wearing a suit are usually symptoms of damaged masculinity. It is now that we want to deal with the fragility of the child we were, without realizing that the deadline for repairs has long since expired. From a certain point on, it would be best to assume veteran status, embrace a certain sobriety, and make way for the kids eagerly pushing on the door. But we were educated to impose ourselves. And we end up taking refuge in the pathos of those who, in order not to grow old, prefer not to mature.
The nightmare is complete because we humans have not been allowed to experience the breakdown. We also haven’t learned to name failure or share our insecurities. Women talk about menopause, their weaknesses or their shadows; We continue to worship ourselves with martial gestures, as if we could still intimidate anyone.
These symptoms are particularly corrosive in jobs that hypertrophy the ego. The singer, the actor, the famous journalist or the university professor are – or we are – creatures prone to going off the curve. Empathic channeling, the bad faith of publicly challenging the rules or the erosion of one’s dignity are the last blows of those who are sinking. It would be more honest to say it clearly: the only thing that happens to us is that we are afraid.
