The improvement applied to helping others through one’s own experience is one of the conquests of Pedro García Aguado (Madrid, 57 years old), Olympic water polo champion (gold in Atlanta in 1996 and silver in Barcelona in 1992) and then known for being trainer family member and host of the television program Big brother. The communicator and former director of the Youth of Madrid, an expert in violence against parents and a technician in the prevention of drug use, has been involved in the education of young people since, in 2003, during a group therapy to overcome his addiction, he decided that he would help young people who were experiencing the same situation. “What I like most is seeing how those boys and girls labeled as bad are not bad. What they need most is a hug and a compression,” he assures EL PAÍS.
Currently, the counselor participates in Valientes, with which young people aged 11 to 13 learn the tools to manage bullying and eradicate it through speeches recorded by the production company Lapa Creativa, engaged in the generation of supportive television content, broadcast on the Imbatibles YouTube channel. The initiative was presented on 22 September in the Andalusian municipality of Bormujos and involves visits to several Spanish locations. “When a child is discovered to be a victim of bullying, we must work systematically with the whole family,” says Aguado. “There are cases bullying that are the result of the education received at home, such as emotional deficiencies, abuse or overprotective and neglectful models. Sometimes parents need to be re-educated for things to change,” he adds.
ASK. What does the Valientes project consist of?
ANSWER. Something you’re not doing well with bullying It is early detection of cases and immediate attention. To alleviate this problem, with Valientes we organize meetings with students in Andalusia, thanks to the production company Lapa Creativa. My role is to present several testimonies from people who have suffered harassment. This serves to raise awareness of the need not to remain silent in situations that occur in institutions and schools. It’s about stopping being complicit in passivity and taking immediate action. It also intends to identify potential attackers early, learn about their family situation and the risk factors that favor the commission of the crime. bullying.
Q. When a child or young person has problems, such as aggression, bullying, isolation or addictions, what first steps do you recommend parents take?
R. Look beyond the behavior, as it is just the tip of the iceberg. It is a symptom of something behind it, which has to do with what happens at home and with the educational model that is received.
Q. Why did you decide to dedicate yourself to counseling families who have difficulties with their children’s behavior?
R. In 2003, sitting in a chair in group therapy to overcome my addiction, I thought it would help me a lot to know in advance what I felt in that room about managing emotions or controlling impulsivity. If it had been like this I would have saved myself a lot of suffering. It was then that I thought that, if I recovered, I would pass on all that knowledge to young people so that they would have more tools to deal with adverse situations and not fall into substance abuse and, now, even screen abuse.
Q. What advice would you give to parents of young people with addictions?
R. First I would tell them that they are not responsible for their child developing an addiction to substances or screens. Once the addiction has been identified, or rather the behaviors that can lead to this diagnosis, one should not hesitate to ask for specialized help and seek serious treatments with professionals who understand the topic. And, from that moment on, I would advise you to listen to what the therapists say to put an end to the possible blackmail and emotional manipulation that your son or daughter will do to avoid undergoing treatment. Once the addiction is diagnosed, a long-distance race begins in which one must follow the guidelines.
Q. What do you think we are doing wrong with young people that there are so many cases of? bullying, some of which lead to children taking their own lives?
R. We should differentiate one thing from the other. Youth suicide is not only linked to bullying, there are multiple causes and among them is that some suffer so much pain due to different circumstances that they decide to take their own life to stop suffering. What causes these cases is difficulty managing pain, poor emotional literacy and poor ability to deal with adversity, as well as some psychological disorders.
Q. Are you of the opinion that childhood is not how the story begins, but rather how it ends?
R. I’m of the opinion that no one is bad. It may be that due to circumstances and the influence of the environment, or the educational model received, some children behave badly. Cases must always be analyzed as a multifactorial system that causes some people to harm others. These are the minor ones that seem to go wrong along the way.
Q. What are the most common mistakes parents usually make?
R. Overprotection, inconsistent support, absence of rules and limits, not teaching how to manage frustration, not emotionally literacy, not educating the children you have, but the ones you would like to have.
Q. Do you think there is enough investment in emotional education?
R. No. And it would be important to do so to help people be more responsible for what they feel, more capable of facing adversity. I’m sure this would reduce the consumption of anxiolytics and antidepressants.
Q. He usually underlines the importance of values for the education of young people. What would you recommend to parents for practicing it?
R. It is very difficult to give advice without knowing the particular reality of each family. In general, I would advise parents to be clear about their individual values and then share the ones they want to pass on to their family. Many times, and especially when sons and daughters grow up, they acquire their own values and we must be respectful of those they choose.
Q. Any concrete examples to put these behaviors with values into practice on a daily basis?
R. The first thing is to be consistent. If you want to pass on to your child the value of respect for those who are different, you will have to be tolerant and kind to people from other cultures, ethnicities, countries and races. If you want to teach him the value of generosity, you will have to be generous and show yourself as such. Contrary to popular belief, generosity is learned by experiencing it or seeing how good it is for some people to be generous, not so much by forcing them to be. As for the value of responsibility, you will have to accept the mistakes you make and make sure that your child does not see you constantly blaming others for what you don’t do well.
Q. In your experience as an athlete, can playing sports help children have more balance and well-being?
R. Sport teaches what is not in books in a practical and experiential way. It helps you manage frustration, as things won’t always go the way you want. It also prepares you to work in a team, helps you improve yourself and have a certain discipline. All of this promotes balance, as well as providing mental well-being by promoting the production of endorphins and dopamine.
Q. What can parents take into account to guide their children in practicing a sport so that they do it with motivation and not as an additional obligation?
R. It is important that our children do what they want, as long as it is possible, and not what mom or dad wants. It is normal that fathers more than mothers want their sons or daughters to achieve through sport what they were unable to achieve.
