Are gay couples in their mid-40s still allowed to become fathers in Germany?
Jens Spahn (45, CDU) speaks Suddenly on NTV I was chatting with Pinar Atalay about something you rarely hear from him: his personal longings. The top politician said: “So far, our wish to have children has not been realized. Now the conditions for both of us are a little more difficult. Basically, I can imagine that happening to us.”
But how realistic is it for a gay couple in their mid-40s to actually become fathers in Germany? BILD asked renowned fertility and family law expert Riccarda Brest.
This applies in Germany
adoption
Since “marriage is for all”, gay and lesbian couples are officially allowed to marry take. There are no formal disadvantages, but there are practical disadvantages: the process is rigorous and often takes years because too few children are up for adoption. That Youth welfare office check partnership duration, age, finances and personal suitability. Older applicants – like Spahn and Funke – sometimes have worse odds.
Replacement
The surrogate mother is in Germany completely prohibited. Doctors and clinics are not allowed to accompany couples and prospective parents are not allowed to arrange this. That’s why many people move abroad.
Patchwork concept
One possible way: Her female friend undergoes artificial insemination; Biological mothers and gay fathers were included. In fact, several adults are raising the child. However, this model is also a solution for single men and women.
For gay couples, this is still a gray area: “Each parent has no legal protection: no custody, no maintenance, no protection in the event of death,” explains legal expert Riccarda Brest of the law firm Rose & Partner. Contracts can help, but their effectiveness is limited.
Attorney Ricarda Brest from the law firm Rose & Partner
Adoption and surrogacy abroad
And the same as the Chancellor Schroeder retiree (81) adopts child abroad?
“International adoptions don’t just work according to the motto: fly there, adopt the child and return to Germany.” And: “International adoptions must always go through official German authorities, otherwise they may not be recognized here.” The road is long and difficult.
This is also why many people decide gay couple for surrogate mothers abroad. The focus is Mexico, Colombia and the United States.
Brest explains: “For gay couples, surrogacy abroad is legally a little easier than for lesbian couples because the man can identify the father of the child born abroad locally. The second father can then be legally protected in Germany, for example through stepchild adoption.”
But it costs money – and it costs a lot. “The US offers the best legal infrastructure, but it is expensive at 150,000 to 200,000 euros.”
Countries like Mexico and Colombia are popular and much cheaper. Surrogacy there costs between 60,000 and 90,000 euros. But in Ukraine, currently only heterosexual couples are accepted.”
