The desire to be a mother often clashes with a reality that discourages women from having children. The lack of co-responsibility and conciliation make it difficult to achieve a motherhood which every day appears more full of obstacles than virtues. This is demonstrated by the latest survey published last November 26 by the Malasmadres club – with 896,000 followers on Instagram – and by its association Yo no Renuncio, founded in 2015 with the aim of raising awareness of the need for true conciliation. One of his conclusions, after conducting a survey online to more than 20,000 women, is that “90% have not used the new eight-week parental leave, approved in 2023 and still unpaid, which demonstrates its limited effectiveness”. From the data collected, Laura Baena, founder of the Malasmadres club and president of the association, draws a strong conclusion: “What is clear is that the relationship between life and work must change otherwise everything will go to hell. If we mothers stop, society stops.”
The eight-week leave reserved for working mothers and fathers to care for children under the age of 8 is unpaid, can be taken continuously or intermittently, part-time or full-time and must be requested in writing 10 days in advance, as established by the Workers’ Statute. Of the 90% of mothers who have not used it, 69% say they did not request it because it was not paid. “51% of them recognize that they waited for the approval of their compensation – it did not happen – as established by the European Directive 2019/1158, and 28% did not request it knowing that they would lose their salary.” Furthermore, 7% of those interviewed did not know of its existence, “which raises doubts about the communication and diffusion of this measure both by public administrations and businesses”, denounces the report that Malasmadres has been carrying out for 10 years.
This year’s participants also point out that they have had to make work decisions that affected their professional career due to motherhood, such as reducing hours, turning down promotions, changing jobs or quitting their jobs, “exactly 82%,” up slightly from the 2024 report (it was at 81%). And more than half of women, 54%, admit to having felt judged in the workplace after having children. With these data in hand, the association reports that, after a decade of struggle, the new data confirm that conciliation continues to be a pending issue in Spain: “Mothers continue to pay a personal, professional and emotional cost to support care”.
Life as a couple after becoming a mother
Another fact that the survey highlights directly affects the life of a couple after the birth of a child: “Nine out of 10 women recognize that their sexual relations have decreased after becoming mothers.” According to the association, this is largely due to the fact that 86% of women take on the mental load and family organization, which means that it is the mother who plans everything, provides continuous care and suffers from emotional exhaustion. “51% have symptoms of frequent tiredness and discomfort and 22% have experienced anxiety or depression. Only 2% say their health has not been affected.”
This conclusion is not new and coincides with recent European data. The study The state of motherhood in Europe in 2024, prepared by Make Mothers Matter (an international NGO, founded in 1947, which advocates for the recognition of mothers as agents of change and vital contributors to society) in 12 European countries, also concluded that in Spain women feel this burden of tasks heavier than in Belgium, Germany or France. “78% of Spanish mothers say they feel mentally overloaded, the European average is 67%,” underlines the report. Furthermore, new data from the Malasmadres club underline that tiredness and overload are the main reasons that push women to separate or divorce: “The lack of an equal distribution of household tasks and the care of sons and daughters favors this.”
Finally, from Yo no renuncio they explain that there are six urgent measures to be implemented to stop “the resignation of mothers”. “For example there is a reduction in working hours for care with no loss of pay or remuneration for eight weeks’ parental leave.” They also highlight the importance of extending birth permits up to 24 weeks, flexibility in returning to work after maternity leave, compulsory acceptance of the adaptation of working hours by companies and recognition of temporary incapacity after childbirth (15 days by vaginal route and 30 by caesarean section).
