When Rosa’s mother moved in with her after her husband’s death, it was only planned as a temporary move. But the first few months turned into a full decade – with everything that meant closeness and stress.
When Rosa’s father died, her mother not only lost her partner, but also her financial security. Since she could no longer afford her own apartment, she moved in with her daughter – at first only temporarily. Ten years later, the two are still living together, according to Business Insider.
When Rosa’s mother lived with her, there were many tasks to complete
For Rosa, then a single mother, shared housing became an important source of support – but also a daily challenge. In her early 30s, Rosa suddenly belonged to the sandwich generation, namely people who raise children and care for their parents at the same time.
Doctor’s appointments, medication, the emotional ups and downs of her grieving mother – all this adds up to work, travel, and parenting. “I constantly felt tense. Even small decisions felt difficult – like a night alone,” she said.
“Caring for parents does not mean giving up your own life”
Even though she was exhausted, Rosa also saw the positive side. There’s something unifying about shared meals, shared routines, and the closeness of three generations under one roof. “When she’s cooking or taking care of my daughter, I feel like we’re there for each other,” she said. At the same time, living with his mother taught him how lonely old age can be – and how important compassion and patience are.
After ten years, Rosa realized that multigenerational living was more than just an economic decision: it was an emotional promise. “Caring for a parent doesn’t mean giving up your own life,” he said today, according to Business Insider. “But that means setting boundaries – and feeling sorry for yourself.”
4 facts about the sandwich generation
- Definition: According to the “Ärzte Zeitung”, this term began to be used in Germany in the early 1990s and describes the middle generation who have obligations towards young and old.
- Smaller families: In the past, families lived larger and shared parenting responsibilities on larger shoulders, as explained in “One Money Way.” Today their numbers are smaller, so responsibility for care and support often falls on only a few people.
- Longer life expectancy: Better health services allow people to live longer, meaning caregiving responsibilities continue for many years. This is often accompanied by health problems which increase the burden on the middle generation.
- Feelings of guilt: The double burden of the sandwich generation often leaves those affected feeling torn, accompanied by feelings of guilt because they believe they are not giving enough attention to their parents, children, or themselves.
