A few minutes of conversation are enough to understand that leaving Gaza was the most painful decision in the lives of Palestinian journalists Motaz Azaiza and Ola Al Zanoun. Even a few sentences are enough to realize that today they are physically in Madrid, but they are still somehow trapped in the Strip, and that the sense of guilt for having left, mixed with immense relief, tears them apart.
“I left for my children. But even today I am consumed by remorse when I talk to my mother, who is still there. I feel so bad that I prefer to write to her instead of calling her”, explains Al Zanoun, 45 years old, with tears in his eyes, in an interview with this Madrid newspaper, where on Tuesday evening he received, together with Azaiza, the international Reporters Without Borders (RSF) Spain award, representing all the journalists of the Strip.
“There are people who despise me because I left. What would they have done? I had the opportunity and I left. Because I am worth more alive than dead. If I had stayed and Israel had killed me, people would have talked about me for a couple of days at most and that’s it. As happened with my colleagues”, adds bitterly Azaiza, a 26-year-old photojournalist.
Azaiza and Al Zanoun also share the painful certainty that “no one is doing much to protect journalists in Gaza.” “The world cannot even imagine the difficulties they face in being able to continue reporting every day,” they say.
“If Israel had let the international press into Gaza, we wouldn’t be talking about this number of deaths.”
Ola al Zanoun, Palestinian journalist
Ola al Zanoun takes out some sheets of paper on which he has written for this interview the updated data on the horror affecting the press in Gaza, where since 7 October 2023, when Israel began bombing the Strip after suffering bloody attacks by Hamas on its territory, there have been more than 68,000 Palestinians dead: “I counted 252 journalists killed violently, more than 400 injured, of which only about fifteen were evacuated, and 150 press offices destroyed”, explains this woman, a mother of five children, in charge of documenting and investigating for RSF from Egypt, where she has been living for more than a year.
“If Israel had allowed the international press into Gaza, we wouldn’t be talking about this number of deaths,” he says sadly. For this journalist, Gaza journalists did their job meticulously and flawlessly. “But in a sort of act of revenge, Israel killed reporters, especially those who had more followers on the networks or who worked focused on humanitarian issues, covering hunger, for example, as was the case of Anas al Sharif, to name one case,” he explains, referring to the reporter from the Qatari network Al Jazeera, whom Israel killed in an attack in August 2025.
And now “journalists in Gaza suffer because no one calls them to work. After all, they are not paid to send news. People forget very quickly,” complains Azaiza, who lives in Doha.
“How many people are talking about Gaza in the media these days?” he asks. “A ceasefire is declared and the world moves on to something else, because for the international community this was just another crisis. This is why I believe that no one will help Gaza better than the Gazans themselves”, he adds, celebrating that thanks to the RSF award, at least the situation in the Strip is being talked about again.
Israel and Hamas agreed to a ceasefire a month ago, but since then Israel has killed more than 200 Palestinians, continues to militarily occupy more than half of the Strip and humanitarian aid entering the territory remains insufficient to meet the enormous needs of its two million inhabitants.
Break the narrative
Al Zanoun acknowledges that he would have liked to collect the RSF award “under different circumstances”, but welcomes the recognition of the work of Palestinian journalists. “I receive it honestly and with my mind and heart focused on those who are no longer here,” he says.
The journalist especially wants to remember women journalists, who have to face the same difficulties as men, but also suffer further obstacles in carrying out their work. “In our culture it is very difficult to live and work in tents, without any privacy. It is also difficult to leave children. I also brought my 11-year-old daughter with me because I had images in my mind of colleagues who lost their children while working and I couldn’t bear it,” he explains.
Now journalists in Gaza suffer because no one calls them to work. They don’t get paid to send news anymore, people forget about it very quickly
Motaz Azaiza, Palestinian journalist
RSF and the Committee to Protect Journalists (CPJ) argue that journalists in Gaza were directly targeted by Israel, which accused them of being members of Hamas without providing evidence. Azaiza and Al Zanoun know what it means to live with that fear. “A neighbor of ours received a call from the Israeli secret services saying they were going to bomb our house even though they knew we weren’t inside. They told him it was because we were journalists,” recalls Al Zanoun, married to Adel Al Zanoun, a journalist for Agence France-Presse (AFP).
The journalist also recalls that when they had to move to the south of the Strip there were people who did not want to rent houses to them because they were journalists and were afraid to be at their side in case Israel targeted them.
Despite the difficulties and sacrifices they have had to make, Azaiza celebrates the fact that since October 2023, Palestinian journalists have “managed to break Israel’s narrative and its efforts to control all information coming out of Gaza.”
But, in no uncertain terms, he criticizes the fact that this sacrifice of reporters is overshadowed by some actions of Hamas, the Islamic movement that has de facto governed Gaza since 2007. Azaiza specifically cites the executions of alleged traitors that have taken place in recent weeks.
“They do not realize that the world is watching us and that they cannot act like this. The world does not support Palestine thanks to Hamas, but thanks to the solidarity that its people have awakened, partly thanks to the work of us journalists. And these images destroy much of what we have achieved”, he criticizes.
Navigating between Israel and Hamas
“We are witnessing great irresponsibility on the part of the Hamas government. They have no plan, they do nothing, they have disappeared. They have not addressed the inhabitants of Gaza since October 2023. Their speeches were aimed abroad,” he continues.
Azaiza, very popular on social networks, where he has more than 15 million followers, tries to explain how complicated it is to navigate the various waters of Gaza and regrets how easy it is to judge with joy certain statements or silences of people like him. “I have to be careful what I say and do. Israel can ban me from returning to Gaza forever or harm my family or kill me. This is the occupation. They have the power,” he explains.
The criticism he receives, which in some cases comes from Palestinians in the diaspora, hurts him and he recognizes it. “I have been accused by Israel of being a member of Hamas, a terrorist, but Hamas followers accuse me of being a traitor. Who am I, ultimately?” he asks.
Since leaving Gaza, Azaiza has been committed to mobilizing support and resources around the world to respond to the needs of Palestinians in the Strip. First through UNRWA, the United Nations Agency for Palestinian Refugees, and a few weeks ago through his own foundation, with which he has already raised half a million euros. “God opened doors for me. Now I’m trying to open doors for others,” he says.
The money raised is used to buy blankets, food or medicine for those in Gaza and also to support Palestinians who have managed to leave the Strip, but who have great difficulty surviving. “I don’t just believe in Instagram posts, I believe in actions. For example, I managed to help 33 medical students from Gaza who are in South Africa and pay for their studies. There are 33 future doctors,” he insists.
“Helping is the antidote to guilt,” admits this young man. “I don’t want to benefit from this genocide. I don’t need it. My fame? I use it for Gaza, not for myself. I just want this to happen and disappear, to come back into my life, into my cameras, into my photos,” he concludes.
