A young woman, very well-groomed, poses next to some bottles of Moët, in a seaside swimming pool in Dubai and on the luxurious stairs of a hotel located in Monte Carlo. It is defined as sugar, darling and on her profile she shares videos about her glamorous life with a supposedly older man who never appears in the images. Ana (not her real name) looks at him on the phone screen and remembers those times when she too believed that the entire universe was at her fingertips. “I thought it was so easy,” he says.
He met the sugar dating —relationships between young girls and older men in exchange for gifts— in 2022, when she was just 18 years old. “I moved to study in Granada and I had almost no money,” he explains. She then shared a “dilapidated” apartment with five other college students, was looking for part-time work and wanted “the expensive things that girls that age want: an iPhone, designer clothes, travel.” In those TikTok videos he thought he was finding “a simple shortcut” to reach his dreams, but he only found a door to a “very harsh” reality.
After signing up for a dating app, she met a man in his 50s for dinner. “I even found the idea exciting, but when I saw him I realized what I was doing and I felt disgusted; I thought, ‘What am I doing here with this man who could be my father?’ When they got to dessert, he offered her a ride to his house. “He told me he was looking for some kind of relationship, someone who would give him affection and sex and who, in return, could take care of his whims.”
Ana didn’t agree – although she stresses that she was “very nice” – because she felt this meant “going headlong” into prostitution. That same night he unsubscribed from the platform and never used it again. Despite this, he had “nightmares” for a long time about what could have happened in that meeting. “In the videos you only see the part of the gifts, the incredible trips and sugar daddy “They’re rich and beautiful, but you don’t realize that it’s actually about sleeping with someone you don’t like for money,” he summarizes.
His testimony is not an isolated case. In various forums on the Internet you can read similar stories: young girls attracted by the successful lifestyle that other women show in their networks, often influencers hired by the platforms themselves sugar dating– which in fact mask new forms of prostitution.
“When I was 22, I started compulsively watching videos in which girls my age explained their experiences sugar daddy and how well things had gone for them, the money they had earned…”, writes Lidia (username) on We Lover Size, a community in which she talks about her fleeting time in one of these appfrom which he immediately canceled because “everyone” was looking for sex. “Where are the sugar daddy “So awesome what YouTubers are talking about?” he asks at the end of his post.
The Federation of Young Women (FMJ) answers this question: sugar dating “It’s not what teenagers think they see on the internet,” they say, but rather one of the new and “dangerous” routes to sexual exploitation. According to the latest data published by the NGO Diaconía, Spain is the fifth country in the world with the most users of these pages: 400,000 in 2022; the majority, college-aged women.
In addition to this route of access to what has been defined as “prostitution 2.0”, the FMJ Observatory on Sexual Violence cites others, such as platforms for the creation of pornographic content. In particular, they point to OnlyFans as a space in which the new dynamics of sexual exploitation have been “whitewashed” and through which “sexism, violence against women and male domination” are perpetuated.
From a photo in a swimsuit to sexual violence
To see it, just register on the platform itself: a long list of users appear half-naked and offer adult content in exchange for a subscription. “Many girls are captured by the site itself on other social networks, such as Instagram or TikTok,” explains Laura López of FMJ. “They seduce them into thinking they can make money by posting the same bikini photos on OnlyFans as they do on other profiles, but it’s never limited to a photo in a swimsuit,” she warns.
Young women, often “with economic difficulties” and “narcotized by the ferocious capitalism that takes power on the networks”, end up creating an account in this space. After the first images, López explains, “messages from users arrive asking for more and more content, until the first dates arrive and in-person sexual violence ends up appearing.”
The problem has become such a “serious threat” to adolescents that several institutions have been focusing on these platforms for some time. Among these are the Ministry of Equality, the Forces and Corps of State Security or the Community of Madrid, which have launched a campaign against platforms “that promise independence and hide control and sexual exploitation”.
In her presentation a few days ago, the Minister of Family, Youth and Social Affairs, Ana Dávila, stated that this initiative – whose motto is Would you get naked in front of them? and it cost one million euros – has the aim of preventing “extortion and cyberbullying and countering the mafia networks dedicated to trafficking and sexual exploitation that hide behind these types of pages”.
And although with this objective several experts, organizations and even politicians have criticized the idea of doing what others have also done in recent years, when there was still a certain generalized ignorance about the structure of sexual violence: holding women responsible for the violence they suffer, repeating stereotypes and having an incorrect approach.
“And if we undress in front of them, what happens? So it’s our fault if they rape us? Ayuso spent a million euros to tell us that we are responsible for the sexist violence we suffer”, wrote the former Minister of Equality, Irene Montero, on X. “Yet another campaign that accuses women of being responsible for the sexual violence they suffer. Another serious mistake,” wrote Francisco Martín, government delegate in that autonomy, in X. And also Lorena Morales, socialist member of Parliament of Madrid: “From Ayuso, creator of the “don’t lose sight of the glass” campaign. Now comes “Would you strip naked in front of them?” Those responsible are NOT women. We must provide sexual education against porn. But Madrid took it. “Just like training against sexist violence.”
A recognizable role model in young women
Beyond the campaign, the reality is that many stories show a pattern: young women in economic difficulty who, attracted by the statements on these pages, could end up involved in dynamics of sexual exploitation. “When this happens, girls should be considered victims,” insists the Young Women’s Federation, whose members denounce how these spaces “mask” the exploitation of prostitution.
“The only solution to put an end to the trauma they are causing to many women is abolition,” concludes Laura López, who hopes that the law being prepared by the government will include and regulate sites like OnlyFans. Young people like Ana believe it is essential to put an end to the “misleading advertising” that is placed on social networks to prevent girls like her from “flirting, almost without realizing it, with prostitution”.
María (not her real name) didn’t visit Onlyfans, but she did visit a website that sells used underwear. It happened a few years ago, when he was 23 years old. She was finishing a master’s degree to become a teacher and, despite working as a waitress, she needed “some extra income” to support herself in the city she had moved to, something she prefers not to say. A friend told her she saw on Instagram how some girls were “making money” selling their underwear online, and she wanted to try it.
“It wasn’t as easy as they made it out to be: you had to upload your photos or videos with the thong you were going to sell,” he says. The users who obtained the most sales were those who provided “attractive content for buyers”: that is, the garment itself was not enough, consumers “wanted to know what the girl looked like in panties, to have erotic material about her”.
This is confirmed by other women on the We Lover Size forum. “I’m a student and I don’t have a job,” the user writes Curvy girl. “I need money urgently and I’ve been looking for options like selling my underwear (…). The problem is, I’ve never done it and there are a lot of crazy people out there,” she explains, then asks other girls for advice. “I did this for a few months when I was going through a difficult financial situation,” another user replies.
“I started with the idea of just selling panties, but you end up getting more requests for photos, videos, etc.,” he tells her. It coincides with her Malamuje: “I made money for a while, but (the app) is closer to an erotic chat than simple panties. “I left him when I found a boyfriend,” she points out.
