Late Monday evening at the State Chancellery, Bavarian Cabinet budget meeting. Prime Minister Markus Soder and his ministers sat at an oval table. Economy Minister Hubert Aiwanger picked up a plate of dried sausage slices.
Aiwanger: Morcus, Frog. Can I add a little vinegar to my sausage? Or oil?
Soder: (annoyed) And in the end I have to give the nice guy some pickles, or what? Y’all didn’t hear the shot! The golden years are over!
The Minister of Agriculture sat next to Aiwanger Michaela Kaniberhe spoke with his mouth full.
Canniber: I think when it comes to sausage salad, it’s the sausage that gives the flavor. I don’t need anything else.
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Soder: That’s the spirit of Stoiber! (said by the Minister of Finance Albert Furacker) Albert, how many billion more have to come out?
Furacker: (leans over a pile of leaves with a red pen) Wait a minute, I’ll get it right away. Four …
Soder: (enthusiastic) Only four more to go to black zero!
Furacker: …plus seven, plus five, plus, yes, I rounded down to the decimal range: 19 billion, Mark.
Soder: (angry) 19 billion, and Free Voters complain about sausage salad!
Furacker: (very blunt) Hubert, I have it here: 2.3 million for ammunition prizes for participants in the International Hunting and Shooting Day at Grünau Castle. Is this really necessary?
Aiwanger: (calm) OK, no ammo prizes next year. Get away from my wind sled!
Soder: Ammo reward! There’s something wrong with you! Bärbel’s pension is more economical. Albert, what else?
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Furacker: Hubert, comprehensive wolf traps in Lower Bavaria and Upper Saxony, 87 million: Maybe we won’t install them until 2028?
Aiwanger: This is your dead sheep!
Soder: Wolf trap! Am I actually the only one doing politics for future generations? Albert, come on!
Furacker: Markus, I want to ask: 3.4 million for singing lessons. Who exactly is this for?
Soder: (suddenly nervous) Dear Albert, eh, dear colleagues! Kids, family, everything is fine and dandy. But one thing must be clear: with me there will be no cultural clear-cutting!
Furacker: That looks a bit dubious to me. (quoted) “Intensive personal training.” And there, four million for a “professional recording studio”! State Chancellery cost center…
Soder: (stand) I think we’ve got it so far. We took the rest from reserves. Respect and thanks and good night!
