“The inevitable always finds its way. To Hamburg or the end of the world. I love you, damn it!” Even if these words seem like something out of a soap opera, they are the ones that Merche Torre Couso, Risto Mejide’s new partner, wrote in the profile of the presenter, who a month before this romantic trip had ended his relationship with Laia Grassi, with whom he had dated for four months. A token of love 3.0 that is now known AS difficult launch (an explicit revelation of a new relationship on social media) which the publicist has quite accustomed us to. In Let it be good love. Why emotional responsibility is key in your relationships(Zenith, 2022) Marta Martínez Novoa comments that what were once words of affection whispered at home are now released to the world in a tweet. “Sometimes, without realizing it, we exaggerate and trivialize the importance of intimacy as a generator of tension in the bond. And perhaps this loss of intimacy, as we knew it, is what leads us to forget the effort that actually involves an interpersonal relationship, where sometimes we have to give in, set limits and be patient. Does this have something to do with the fact that there are more and more people who find it difficult to stay and “fully enter into the bond?”, he asks.
“There is no universal calendar”
The radio program It didn’t come from here He seems to think so, since he showed his surprise at such a display of expressed love. “I can’t believe these two are saying ‘I love you’, ‘I love you’… How long will this take?” asks Marta Montaner. “Two weeks!”, replies Juliana Canet. “If he really loves her, he has a very serious problem of existential emptiness that he tries to satisfy with that person,” says the journalist. “If it happens once, that’s fine, but when there’s a systematic pattern…” his partner adds.
Psychology doctor Marta de Prado believes that what needs to be assessed is not so much the speed with which it is said I love you, but what it means for the person who verbalizes it and how the bond is maintained. “There is no universal calendar. There are people who feel ‘I love you’ as a commitment and as a project, while other people feel ‘I love you’ as ‘how good we are and how comfortable we feel’. Depending on their emotional histories, there are those who let go because they feel confident and feel at ease in showing affection from the beginning. Others need greater certainty of belonging and permanence in a common project to be able to say it,” he explains. “The essential thing is that there is consistency. That ‘I love you’ must be accompanied by presence, healthy boundaries and emotional responsibility. The point is not to say it sooner or later, but rather that it is not empty of the meaning associated with the bond,” says the psychologist.
But Núria Jorba, director of the Núria Jorba Centre, believes that saying I love you in the first few months makes no sense. “You choose the person from the moment you fall in love, so you don’t know them. You have an idea of them (that ideal that we imagine how we would like them to be) but as the months go by you start to discover the reality outside of your imagination. So, if at the beginning you say I love you, what you are saying is that you like the idea you have of the other”, he underlines. “Although obviously there are people who are more in love, it is from 6 months that we can start to take it into consideration, because that is when little by little we get to know the other person’s reality a little”, clarifies the psychologist, sexologist and couples therapist.
“For that person you will always be Lanzarote”
For the former monk and trainer the emotional Jay Shetty, whose podcast features stars like Madonna and who was responsible for officiating JLo and Ben Affleck’s wedding, the first warning sign in a relationship is when someone says “I love you” too soon. “It is essential to go slowly and reflect on what love means. We all want a space where we feel accepted as we are, authentic and in harmony with ourselves. This implies that someone has seen us at our worst: stressed, tired, irritated and exhausted,” he comments.
Anthropologist Helen Fisher, who argues that between 12 and 15 months after falling in love, the torrent of hormones wanes, believes that “romantic love, at its best, is a wonderful addiction.” He explains that brain scanning studies show that when a person falls in love, the same brain areas are activated as those of drug addicts. And this is why there are those who have very short-term relationships, because during the honeymoon phase, that is, when everything seems to be incredibly romantic, exciting and natural and during which physical attraction is very high, euphoria is always present. But we know well that after the honeymoon comes real life…
The second season of the Netflix series begins precisely with this premise Nobody wants itin which a podcast host and a newly single rabbi fall in love. When the protagonist talks about how in love she is in the aforementioned podcast, her incredulous sister immediately interrupts her. “A relationship isn’t serious as long as it’s in the honeymoon phase,” she says. “We’re out of that phase!” replies the protagonist, played by Kristen Bell. “But you’ve been there for at least five minutes! The real relationship begins when you mix your lives, your friends…”, replies the sister. This is the time when some people break off the relationship to jump into another and continue to enjoy relationships without limits and when the only phase that exists is the honeymoon phase.
“Many men jump from one fake mini-relationship to another. It’s as if they create one parkour deliriously emotional, confusing all the platforms they land on as they go through their pathetic adventure,” he writes in Dear Dolly (Planeta editorial, 2023) Dolly Alderton. The romantic relationship expert warns of the dangers of those who rush into the next relationship with absolute enthusiasm without having gone through the related pain necessary to meet another person in a healthy emotional state. “Most people perceive the first meeting after a breakup as someone who always says yes without responsibility. I hate to say it, but to that person you will always be Lanzarote,” he says, referring to that vacation spot where you can do whatever you want but without responsibility.
“love bombing” alarm.
It may also be the case that this accelerated I love you could be a case of love bombing, a manipulation tactic in which someone showers their romantic partner with affection in order to get something in return. Patricia Ramírez, co-author of Self-medication (Grijalbo, 2025), remembers that far from being a passionate love, love bombing It’s a quick seduction strategy that seeks to generate dependency: lots of flattery, grand gestures, immediate promises… but little real knowledge. “An alarm signal is when the relationship is going swimmingly, the other person needs constant reassurance and there is almost no room for personal rhythm or one’s own limits. Healthy love does not dazzle: it calms you down. If something makes you feel confused, pressured or rushed, more than love it can be a form of control disguised as passion”, he says Fashion S.
“At the beginning of a relationship there is a real chemical storm in the brain: dopamine, oxytocin, norepinephrine, endorphins… everything pushes us to idealize, to desire and to feel that we have finally found that person. In that state of euphoria, saying I love you can come out impulsively, more like an emotional discharge than a conscious declaration”, says the psychologist. He clarifies that the essential thing is to remember that this “high” does not always mean mature love. “Sometimes what we feel is an emotional attachment, not a deep bond,” he points out. Marta de Prado says in conclusion that healthy love ends up being calm, coherent and allows you to breathe without obsessions. “Aa red flag Undoubtedly it is when the other needs the relationship to be formalized quickly, to be seen immediately, to appear immediately on social networks or in family environments. Although intensity in itself makes you fall in love, what sustains you is stability,” he says in conclusion.
